stephie-cakes

I will no longer be updating this account. My "art" isn't really art... they're just doodles. I will keep this only to follow the Proto&Severus comics that I'm addicted to and continue to help out the Severus x Lily member page.

I figure that no one will read this, so I'm not too concerned about breaking anyone's heart. This site just isn't as fun as I thought it was going to be, in the long run.

I have lost my interest in art. When my father passed away in August 2011, he took my heart with him. Maybe I'll change my mind one day and start posting again. I'll leave up some of my older stuff for those of you who desire to look at it.

It's been... a time. <3

My father, the first man who ever loved me, passed away this morning.
A large piece of my heart died with him.
I'm not sure I've ever felt this amount of pain before.

I'm feeling...rather lost.
It's interesting. o.O

so, i'm working on a new doodle for someone in my life. he has requested that i write my own poem for it rather than use an existing quote or something... my issue is that i don't open up to ANYONE about ANYTHING, because it's NONE OF THEIR DAMN BUSINESS and my poems are more like confessions. i don't SHARE them... i'm not liking this. i've finally decided on a poem that is really personal, but it's dark and short... easy to use for a doodle... but i can't tell anyone who it's about, which is fine with me. i only have one poem posted here on dA and that is only because i was on here playing around, it came to me, i wrote it and forgot it. i'm not good at expressing myself. even if i was good at it, i'm still not sure i would want to. people don't need to know me. they wouldn't like the real me, that i'm pretty positive of. i lack the ability to write a superficial poem that is meaningless. i wrote one when i was little about a pickle... but if i use it, it will be taken out of context, i'm sure.

art is hard.

when the doodle is done i'll post it and i'll write the poem out in the description just in case no one can read my writing. i don't know what colors to use... i don't even know what to really doodle for it. i just want to get it done and get on with my life... this is the most challenging thing i've done and it's JUST A DOODLE! GAH!

...later...

Since I have such difficulty expressing myself... this is the only thing that I have been able to find that can come close to expressing what I'm feeling.

Video via youtube:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvAY5P…

"I Don't Know You Anymore"

I would like to visit you for a while
Get away and out of this city
Maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be the first to break
We can go sit on your back porch
Relax
Talk about anything
It don't matter
I'll be courageous if you can pretend that you've forgiven me

Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
The picture frames have changed and so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again

Springtime in the city
Always such relief from the winter freeze
The snow was more lonely than cold
If you know what I mean
Everyone's got an agenda, don't stop
Keep that chin up, you'll be all right
Can you believe what a year it's been
Are you still the same?
Has your opinion changed?
'Cause I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
The picture frames have changed and so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from these sentences
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again

I know I let you down
Again and again
I know I never really treated you right
I've paid the price
I'm still paying for it every day

So maybe I shouldn't have called
Was it too soon to tell?
Oh what the hell
It doesn't really matter
How do you redefine something that never really had a name?
Has your opinion changed?

Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
The picture frames have changed and so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again